Jack Human’s 5th Shorts
Short enough to reach your ankles
============= WARNING! ADVERTISEMENT =============
Before you drink alcohol, tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver damage or if your brain is prone to shrinkage. Don't drink alcohol on an empty stomach or if you are pregnant.
Alcohol may cause blurred vision, slurred speech, and the inability to tell the difference between a cop and a friend.
============= ADVERTISEMENT ENDS =============
9.
I think it sucks that after you die, you can’t stay in your home.
8.
It’s not true romance if someone doesn’t get stuck with the bill.
7.
Time Crime:
Time wounds all heels
Which ends in a bore
Time is stalking you!
6.
BEWITCHED:
Samantha falls in love with New York ad exec Darren Stephens who promptly attempts to coerce Sam to deny her nature and conform to his vision of what a woman should be.
She guts him with a talking bed warmer
5.
Jump Cuts Productions is pleased to announce our first foray into a weekly tv show titled “Jerked by an Angel”.
It’s the weekly story of an angel assigned to jerk people’s strings and manipulate their emotional well-being through the use of heavenly powers in order to coerce characters to conform to God’s expectations rather than trusting individuals to find their own way in an often confusing and brutal world which God created to begin with.
The audience will thrill on a weekly basis as Jump Cut Productions applies our own unique jump cut take on stories guaranteed to excite and confuse the viewer.
Thrill as a teenager on drugs drives into a dumpster and bursts into flames while an angel laughs!
Tune in or we’ll telemarket and robocall you!
4.
I recall that when I was a child, people kept their telephones attached to a wall or floorboard in order to prevent the telephones from being stolen. It was common for people to take the telephones of others because, telephones were of great value, as opposed to now when telephones are worthless and no one even cares if they lose one. From what I hear, some people prefer their phones to be stolen now due to the relentless and needless interruption of their daily lives.
3.
Join me in hating Google.
2.
A crazy crackhead broad is trying to sell her baby for $5,000.00 on the television show “In the Heat of the Night”. The broad’s boyfriend wants $500.00. The baby just wants clean diapers.
They probably should check the market to see what price they should be charging.
I saw a sign about human trafficking in the emergency room at the hospital but it didn’t say where to find a dealer.
1.
Why make eggs the old fashioned way relying on a stupid chicken when you can lay your eggs yourself?
