What is wrong with people

** WARNING **

The following is neither entertaining nor amusing! Just a bad string.

What is wrong with people

What is wrong with people

who vote against their future

they vote for fast talking clowns

who turn out to be slimy losers

conservative hacks that send

their children to wars in sandy hells

all for the greedy corporations

that pay our representatives well

what is wrong with news media

that reports lies as if they're facts

and that refuses to do the research

because it's easier to work as hacks

they report to confuse us

and they report just to sell

all for greedy corporations

that pay the reporters very well

They work for world corporations

who don’t want us to know

our water is filled with mercury

and the north pole has no snow

what is wrong with politicians

they are working for themselves

taking kickbacks from contractors

who can't build a level shelf

big business pays the prostitutes

who put their votes up for sale

to make it easy for them to flourish

while the mom and pops all fail

What is wrong with you people

who say you hate the government

you march in anger in the streets

protesting my small unemployment

which I feel fortunate to receive

because the stooges you voted for

did nothing to keep my job here

so I’m stuck in a Wal-Mart store

what is wrong with the politician

who answers to the lobbyists?

What is wrong with the voter

who votes in blissful ignorance?

what is wrong with the corporations

who merely want to own my ass?

What is wrong with the rest of us

for not raising hell and fighting back?

If I were rewriting this, I'd choose the better points and focus the writing. And maybe find a way to make some kind of refrain turning it into lyrics. But I'm a lazy bastard. Some might say I'm a filthy son of a ditch digger.

Dick's Dribble

Robot Fog (impersonating Dick's Dribble in order to steal his mortgage)

Hi. It’s me, Dick Dribble, again.

Some of you may remember me from such elongated articles such as "nuffin' to write yer home about" or "I didn't go to summer camp because I was a-scared of the girls and this documentary video shows why."

catfight on Spider Island

Today I want to invite you to visit my website which reviews movies, books, music, and many other forms of culture, popular or otherwise.

Thrill as our social discourse is made up entirely of YouTube and Vimeo videos of television talk show hosts making witty observations of current events!

Lock your knees together and control your excitement over our articles composed entirely of screenshots of tweets we quote in order to appear as if our writers are writing!

We also cover the most current unimportant news of the day by referring to sources other than our own site which have already repeated and shared articles and pieces that present unresearched events and opinions as facts.

Hate the president of the United States? Well, who doesn’t? We’ll post every attack, funny, meaningful, obscure, overt, “in his face”, true, false, current, past, repetitive, pointless, and needlessly tiresome in order to boost your confirmation bias.

So stop whacking it on all those clickbait sites you love so much. Bookmark Dick’s Dribbles and learn what you’ll wish you’d never known.

*** Editor's note. Excrement was misspelled as excitement. ***

Discorde of the Concorde

Robot Fog 

July 18, 2019

  · 

There was a movie made called The Concorde: Airport ‘79’

It’s got George Kennedy who could do no wrong, which you would know if you were wearing peanut butter.

The inside of the Concorde is the size of a phone booth. For young people who hadn’t existed 700 years ago, a phone booth is a vertically standing glass coffin people used to stand inside of in order to make phone calls while experiencing how cramped and alone they may feel at their funeral.

There really was a letter ‘e’ on the end of “Concord” in order to differentiate between the town and the flying machine. This was necessary due to the vast number of people who assumed the town of Concord would transport them across the Atlantic Ocean.

For young people, flying machines don’t exist. Real machines will merely teleport to wherever they really want to be.

The Atlantic Ocean is a telecommunications company known for utilizing sound waves in a manner which would end with the individual wishing they were in a coffin.

The Possible Adventures of Duck Rubberson

by Jack Human

This is a story about a possible story.

Confusing? Get used to it

I'm probably going to forget this in 12 seconds so I'm writing it now. Live!

I have an idea for a character named Duck Rubberson. It is supposed to be a series.

The first story is an origin story where a duck is flying innocently through the sky and hears a duck call. Answering the duck call, the duck is shot by ex-television personality, Phil Robertson. As the buckshot tears through the innocent duck's body, lightning strikes and connects the duck to Robertson electrically and combines their molecules and DNA.

Thus is born Phil "Duck" Rubberson who goes on a weird rampage. [this is where a lot of weird things happen that I forgot] The duck's mother asks someone to help her son and the duck is separated from Robertson, but the duck still has a beard and a hat. And can speak English (better than Robertson) heh. No one cares what condition Robertson is in considering he tried to assassinate the duck to begin with.

FROM THIS TIME ONWARD:

The stories are titled "Furthering the Adventures of Duck Rubberson" and they revolve around the bearded duck. Robertson is generally out of the picture unless he becomes Duck's villain.

I considered trying to draw this but I can't draw. I had a whole dialog with the duck's mother and Phil "Duck" Rubberson when he was on a rampage, but that is gone now, for you see, I am old and my brain cells frail.

Traffic Blight

 Robot reporting here.

I was riding another machine, which sounds obscene but, I swear, it wasn’t like that despite the wonderful vibes I enjoyed. I pulled up to a red light and hadn't had time to look around before turning right on red when some dink pulled up behind me in a truck and started honking their horn. So I stopped even checking for traffic and stayed at the corner. I could see them waving their hands and arms around as if they were going to have a stroke, which I would of been happy to see. No one tells me how to drive. Horns should only be used in emergency situations. The truck driver backed up a couple of feet and drove through the Gulf station parking lot while I waved good-bye.

I drive a hatchback, so I can't see over the vehicles when they are next to me in the left lane. I have to inch forward to see if it's safe to turn right on a red light. I'm not even pissed, just thinking how humans ain't got no manners no more.

Robot Fog

Social Strike

 Hi,

Sometimes I'm awake. I think I was thinking and this may be what I had thought.

What if.

What if, when someone we associate with on disgrace book, or any unsocial media, is booted for a stupid reason, we just quit using the foul beastial platform while the victim is banned?

The goal.

The goal is to deprive the ratform of our presence. This, on a small scale, may accomplish little or nothing (an alternate way of saying ‘no thing’). However, if enough small groups of people randomly dropped out for days or weeks, maybe the decadent greedy robotic swine will miss pennies from their decrepit ads.

Filler.

Pennies have a lot of meaning to nonhumans who appear incapable of understanding community and simple decency towards their own consumers. Perhaps missing several cents here and there now and then would convince the soulless jackals to just pay some of their penny profit to people to audit flagged posts rather than pretend Covid prevents people from working from home. (Facebook literally states somewhere that Covid prevents them from hiring humans.)

Ideally.

Ideally, people with whom you are having an exchange of ideas would not disappear or be silenced for innocently expressing a thought or concept. We could ask George Orwell and Aldous Huxley, however, they have been erased by pig brother.

Ideally, enough users dropping out would encourage some small improvement in those god forsaken platforms despite realistically being unlikely.

Ideally, I would stop repeating the word ideally.

Am I making sense? If so, I apologize.

Aug 31, 2022 7:57:24pm

Uncovers

 

Robot's Ideas

 Robot's Ideas

Hey everybody, (except you),

What's coming off? I've been working on some things that I believe will be helpful. Here's my list.

1. Create a hotline and plenty of advertisements for the hotline. The hotline is aimed at people who fantasize about committing crimes. It seems that there are people who fantasize over and over about committing a crime. Sometimes, the fantasy is a violent one, sometimes it isn't. Maybe some victims (and the courts) would be spared if someone were to see an ad that was to prompt them to call and talk to someone before acting out their fantasies or compulsions. This applies to all uncommitted crimes excluding taking a selfie while sitting in a car which, upon admission of desire, will result in instant incarceration.

2. Find a way to turn sand into water. Sand is just made out of stupid molecules, not one of which has ever completed grade school. It seems reasonable that it could be deconstructed at the molecular level and, if there's hydrogen and oxygen in there, it could be reconstructed as water. The remaining molecules could just be thrown out, although, I'm certain there are people who'd like to send them to their congressperson.

3. Create Vegetables that can grow in the desert nearly, if not exactly, as well as cactus plants do. I believe there are humans who, at this very moment, are wasting their time in strip clubs when they could contribute the time to the study of botany and climate.

4. Travelers can stay at a fire station, homeless shelter, or some other public facility in order to contribute their non-business time to helping others. This may provide a small number of volunteer travelers enough leeway to escape going to hell like 98.998 percent of humans ultimately will.

5. Christmas could be made nondenominational so that all religions can be included. It could be called Observance day. The intention with this idea is not to minimize Jesus or the faith his followers place in him. The point is to get even more people to gather for spiritual reasons and to bring a greater diversity of faiths together at the same time despite referring to their deities by different names. The heart of the matter is to encourage a greater respect for your differences.

Then, at a later date, I could be burned for heresy.

6. Stop eating other mammals, you miserable savages. This applies if you are NOT in a life and death situation. One day, every human who unnecessarily devours another mammal will be put on trial.

Fast, Slow, Shut-up and let me get some sleep

Fast, Slow, Shut-up and let me get some sleep

Hey everyone. Jack Human here. I just want you to know that I love you all, and am thinking of all of you even if you can't see it in your hearts to pass me a half a tuna sandwich or allow me the simple comfort of spending one or two nights sleeping in your car.

Today's story begins with the discovery that automobiles have wheels. Since this discovery, my editor has decided that maybe I should go out into the real world rather than staying under my own desk making up facts concerning stories about things that I know nothing about. Personally, I believe this to be simple office politics. However, wanting to collect an actual paycheck this week as opposed to the IOUs I've been receiving and that are now stacking up higher upon my desk than the many years of awards that I have won through my own hard work at stealing from others, I decided to go out today and bring down the MOB. Not the criminal mob that we are always hearing about and are always watching being maligned in the news. The mob I was after was the mob of idiots who go far out of their way to purchase vehicles, or to purchase good wheels for their vehicles, when they know that this will just make them more demanding and possibly even more dangerous on the road.

I have discovered in my many years of reporting the news (rather than having to live a life like everyone else), that a great many people use the roadways in our communities. I have often seen drivers speeding along at ridiculous and uncalled for speeds (burning rubber, you might say), sometimes, they do the opposite and run their powerful vehicles at a snail's pace until a loud commercial on the radio awakens them upon which, being jolted, they humorlessly spill their excessively hot beverages in their laps. I must admit that I have often gained a slight satisfaction at watching some ruffian of the road sit and squirm in agony while I merrily glide by traveling at the proper speed so as to not cause excessive wear in my wheel gear. I often imagine that the poor soul may even learn some small lesson, not merely through his onerous experience, but also upon viewing the imperially smooth sneer I affect upon my countenance just for his sake. For, no matter how torrid, horrid, or meaningless my journalism may appear to be on its face, I do strive to somehow impart a little wisdom in the hope that I too, along with chocolate milk and Frisbees, will make a small improvement in that part of the world which is most immediate to myself and to those with whom I unfortunately sometimes come in contact.

I fear that I must admit to being nearly finished with this story. It satisfies the demands of my thug of an editor who is of an opinion that my stories should be about something which concerns many people (and may even effect their lives), or that my stories ought to be about something new and exciting and evened with a pinch of my own personal opinion, or that my stories should at the very least be about something that is true.

I believe that I have met the 3rd criteria due to the fact that many people actually do use the community roadways each day.

Thus, even while I go back under my desk for inspiration in order to write another story in the future, I can consider my score with my editor, I mean, the reader, to be one that I have most honestly kept by reminding you all to drive carefully. Unless I'm at home, then you can kill yourselves for all I care.

Jack Human