Wednesday, November 29, 2023

Dick Dribble’s Leaked Shorts

 Dick Dribble’s Leaked Shorts

Hi, Dick Dribble here. I decided to add value to this site without even bothering to inform Robot or Jack. What I do is none of their business. That cad, Robot, may as well be a toaster oven.

In reverse order like my life:


I've decided to stop wearing underwear since I just peed myself and I'm also seriously considering getting butt implants on my head!


I just found a squirrel in my underwear. Shots were fired.

**** publisher’s note ****

We here at Broken Trains are happy that the squirrel escaped but sad that Dick Dribble survived. We do not in any way support the existence of Dick Dribble.

**** END publisher’s note ****


The Rise of Dickjerker

Coming in a theater near you!

Bring a raincoat. There won’t be a dry eye in the house.


If I smell like a baby, it's because I pooped myself.

13. Overheard on the bridge.

Mr. Data (to Captain Picard): “You are right, Sir. I do tend to babble.”

Captain Picard: “Welcome to the lousy stinking human race, you shitty machine. Now finish brewing my coffee.”


I might consider using Viagra but, with my luck, would probably just wind up fucking myself.


Facebook is the opium of the bastards


I just wrote a song titled, "I am your mother's prostitute". I have another in the works named, "Your lips hardly feed me".


No matter what I wore, I always wondered if people could see my bladder leak absorbing underwear. Now I wear it on the outside of my clothing so I can be sure it’s noticed.

Maybe I’ll wear my bladder on the outside and eliminate the need for expensive absorbing underwear.


If I were a doctor, I’d kill all the other doctors in town. Then I’d be the only doctor in town and such a valuable commodity that I could get away with murder.


Hey! It's me, that jerk you'd all like to see dead!

Well I'm going to make your wish come true but it's going to cost you $15.00

That's $15.00 per viewing. So if you walk away and decide you want another view, it will cost another $15.00.


I was forcibly removed from philosophy class for kicking somebody in the Kant.


While you jerks were out jerkin' it, I legally changed my name to Dwight: "Dwight Ransom". My friends call me "Handsome Ransom", even though I'm not handsome. And I don't have any friends, so pretty much nobody calls me that. What's my point? Why don't YOU tell ME!


Moss Doodleman, Putrid Buttstink, and Dick Puller all walk into a bar...

And are asked to leave.


Hi! I’m a dick.

When a traffic light turns green, I stay where I am and play with myself for up to 70 minutes even if the streets are clear of other vehicles. 

It’s important I do this because I’m a dick.

Did I mention I’m a dick?


After watching 5 billion televised true crime shows explain how police can tell if a potential murder victim was drowned according to whether or not there is water present in the lungs, I now use an ice pick to jab holes in the lungs of my victims before I strangle them. This way, water will get in their lungs after I toss them in the river.

Thank you, true crime shows.

If you learned anything from this, please donate. I depend upon your donations to avoid working so I can impart great knowledge and wisdom unto you, the unknowledgeable and unwise.


Dr. Dick Dribble was sitting across the desk from his newest patient, Abatha Cranberk.

"So, how long have you been a doctor?", asked Abatha. 

"Oh, since I placed 'Dr.' in front of my name 2 weeks ago.", replied Doctor Dribble.


Salad dressing? Salad isn't a Barbie doll that you play with and dress up for fun. DO YOU THINK EATING SALAD IS A MOTHERFUCKING GAME?

1. Pain free services

If you suffer from muscle pains and cramps in your legs or your feet, for a small fee, I will remove your legs or your feet. You will be entirely relieved of all discomfort and pain for the cost of merely $1.79. Do your legs suffer pains and cramps, but your feet are no trouble at all? For $2.56, I will remove your legs while leaving your feet.

Call now. 877.pai.nless

Sunday, November 5, 2023

The Last Challenge - A Passing Review

The Last Challenge

 - A Passing Review

We just watched a movie titled The Last Challenge on TV. The script needs work. It could have much more natural language in it. Chad Everett and Angie Dickinson kind of stand around and the only thing moving are their mouths.

Chad comes from Tennessee but talks total 20th century. When we first meet his character, he claims he hadn't fished and eaten the fish since he was a kid. Somehow he lives in a world where you have to scrounge for dinner but never had to stop and consume fish you caught while passing through some woods.

Colored people are servants if they are black or drunk if they are native Americans in this film. The writer had a tiny brain.

Chad's clothing is prime. Just purchased from a store and perfectly cleaned and pressed. Angie has crazy fancy dresses which could be possible, but she runs a whorehouse while speaking like a high school drama student.

Glenn Ford is good but his role is written as Mr. Perfect ex-gunslinger who is now sheriff.

1967 should have produced something more gripping. I would say this would be a decent film if it were rewritten, more natural, and avoided stereotyping people of color.

The one good thing is Chad Everett has no pony tail. I think Chad is a good actor but I hate that goddamned ponytail. It's disturbed me since 'medical center'. In fact, I had a flashback to the ponytail while watching this film and had to be heckled by Sal to shut up about it.