Wednesday, March 1, 2023

A Suffering Syndrome

A Suffering Syndrome

After years of research, I have discovered an undocumented condition suffered by many people. It's called ASS: Anal Shift Syndrome.

Anal Shift Syndrome involves a person's anus becoming unanchored and floating about over the body most often coming to rest above the chin and below the nose where the mouth is located. On those times when the anus displaces the mouth, ASS is most easily identifiable as the individual will often be speaking shit. So, if someone is speaking shit, don't become angry.

Be compassionate. There is no cure for ASS. And you are better than they are. Much, much better.

If you suffer from ASS, tell your doctor. ASS sufferers are often unaware they suffer from Anal Shift and must be told. Patients who speak shit tend to disbelieve their diagnosis and are often in need of restraining and wiping. If you know of someone who suffers from ASS, and they cannot be convinced to seek medical assistance, notify the authorities and tell them the individual is armed and dangerous to others around them and society at large.