Friday, March 1, 2024

My Underwears

My Underwears


Hi, My name is Smike Mansmell and I want to share My Underwears with you.

I became a severe crackhead until I found God who refused to provide me with more crack unless I obtained the moral imperative that would enable me to coerce people better than myself to live within the confines of my personal belief system. God taught me how to lie to a bank to gain the funds which enabled me to open a manufacturing facility to mass produce a quality and much needed product I call My Underwears.

My Underwears are made from the toughest non-biodegradable materials and are designed with a safety device which expels flames at the slightest indication of a breach. My Underwears guarantees the absolute safety of the wearer.

According to the FDA, the WHO (the band and not the World Health Organization), those two kids I purchased beer for, and all scientists who agree with me, My Underwears is the best protection against infection, disease, and unwanted sexual advances for asexuals ever created in the entire history of the universe.

As is well known and has been thoroughly agreed upon by myself, My Underwears will create a clean local personal atmosphere around the wearer. Air, furniture, and even the clothing worn over My Underwears will be entirely clear of odor and particles of extraneous defecants (a word created just for this product) as well as non-contaminated with cells generally expelled by the filthy human groin.

My underwears is affordable and is the only product that will provide you with protection and dignity. Our flame enhanced decontamination system has the highest rating ever provided by the CDC.

So, if you are a decent person who desires to leave no trace of defecants or groin germs in what might be a beautiful planet if only it lacked a human presence, order My Underwears now!

Order now and receive a free pair of My Underwears for the low price of $170.00 that contains an unbreakable locking device for anyone you know who is in dire need of My Underwears but refuses to wear them.

Thanks to My Underwears and the filthy groined customers in need of it, I was able to create a successful business which allowed me to purchase and influence politicians of low moral character. God loves me, Man!

Order now! If you have neither the time nor the inclination to do so, My Underwears will happily apply a charge to your credit card for you!